Dear Mr. Concrete,
Hello, my name is Kim . Up until now, you have mostly talked to my husband, but I just want to have a few words with you. The first time I met you, we stood in our driveway, looking at our house that was in the process of being lifted, and you made a comment about “firm foundations”, and how they are the basis of everything. I agreed with you, and was impressed, as I noticed a tone of integrity and faith. Later that day, I had talked to my husband, and told him what you said, and how I was pleased to know that you were a man of faith. Steve then informed me that you also did charity work, and did work with a mission, in Grand Rapids, at that time, while on the phone, we prayed for you and what ever mission you were working with. We still pray, and hope that the mission is going well, and that where ever God leads you and the mission, that it will be glorifying to HIM.
On to the reason for this letter…At this point in time, I feel it is necessary to inform you how disappointed I am in the quality of craftsmanship that is shown in our foundation. I am a very forgiving, and understanding person. I loathe conflict, and find it very difficult to make demands on my own behalf (even if the demands are just and moral). But it is a little different when the injustices involve my family, or affect them in any way. I have stood quietly by my husband, supporting him, as he has been very diplomatic, and professional in dealing with the issues we have had with our foundation. But I need you to know that he and I don’t exactly see eye to eye with this matter. I know how hard my husband works for our family. I see the stress mounting, and the disappointment that he dare not speak of, knowing that it will open the floodgates.
You see, we never had imagined that this project would ever be possible. When we purchased this home five years ago, it was perfect for our family of four! But then a month after we moved in, we went on our first mission trip to a South Dakota reservation, and on our way there, we stopped and stayed with family. That family was the foster parents of our adopted children. It wasn’t long after we got back from the mission trip that we began to pray for these kids, that they would find a loving Christian home. Well, surprisingly enough, that home turned out to be ours. And in just under a year, the children had been moved here to live with us.
Our home became very cramped, and seemed as if it were going to burst at the seams, especially when one of the children was in the middle of a meltdown. All three of our adopted children have special needs. They look quite normal, but you cant even imagine the torment these children have lived through, and carry around inside them. Because of their emotional and mental disabilities, they don’t deal with stress or change well at all. So the thought of remodeling, or adding on was just a pipe dream. But after four years of tantrums, meltdowns and vicious fights, the space in our home was growing dark. Our biological sons began acting out, crying for privacy, and wanting to leave. And every fiber of our family seemed to be stressed to the limit, and at times, we weren’t sure if we could endure any more. But we trusted God and HIS plan for us. Knowing that we needed to provide our children with a safe haven, and knowing that the foundation on our home was in desperate need of repair, we really began to pray about what we should do.
The answer came quickly, and we questioned whether it was truly God, or if it was just our own desires. But when things began to fall into place, and the funds almost miraculously appeared (thanks to a new tax law in 2010), we knew we had our answer. And we knew we would have to trust in the Lord to help us with our children during this lengthy process. Now I am a stay at home mom due to the fact that I need to be available to my children at the drop of a hat, in case I am needed at the school, or whatever. So that means that my husband is our only source of income, and he works really hard to provide for us. It really pains me to look at our foundation and see what my husbands hard earned money has paid for.
I cringe every time I look at the cracks in the walls (even though I am thankful that you were quick, and professional and had them sealed). I am also aware that there is some disagreement in the cause of the cracks. Some think it was due to the manner in which it was back filled, some believe that the quality of the foundation led to a “perfect storm” of issues, in which any amount of pressure could cause a crack. I let the complete picture fill in the gaps of the cause argument. I see the stud walls my husband has built and I see the gaps in the wall, as it butts up to the concrete foundation, because the wall is so wavy, assumedly from warped forms. I see the honeycombing in the walls, where I can press against and it chips away like flakes of shale. It is my understanding that if the walls were vibrated, then honeycombing is less likely to occur. ( I do not claim to be a professional about this, however I did trust you to provide us with a “firm foundation”, and tiny holes, and patches of “cancer” don’t seem to be qualities of a “firm foundation” ) Almost every time I visit our basement, I see something else that makes me cringe, and breaks my heart. My heart breaks, because I don’t want to tell my husband about what I see or question…he doesn’t need more stress, and I cant allow the children to hear us discussing this because remember, they don’t deal with stress or change or uncertainty well at all. And the thought of there being issues with “the thing that holds up our house”, freaks them out! (even if it is just a tiny, really not an issue, issue)
I am just disappointed that once again, I found something that needs to be repaired. While working on the siding with my family, my dad and brother looked at the retaining wall, and asked me if I planned on painting it…. I wasn’t sure what they meant or why they were asking. So they pointed it out to me. There is a patch, that is discolored, and honeycombed. They were quick to inform me of what I already knew to be true, that if not taken care of, water will get into that, freeze and bust that whole area up, unless we do something to prevent that. Great, another thing to add to my husbands to do list.
Now, I am a firm believer that we all go through trials, and if you are a person of faith, your trials are not suffered alone, that it is an opportunity for God to show you his love and ultimate control over your life. With that being said, I also believe that doesn’t mean we should just turn the other cheek, and ignore injustice. I don’t believe it to be just that after spending xx,xxx hard earned and blessed dollars, that we should have a sub-par foundation. That every time I go into the basement I have it smack in my face that my husbands hard work was for that. When we pictured our new basement (aka “firm foundation”), we pictured tall smooth, level, walls. Not ones that are marred, scarred, wavy and cracked. Oh, we were truly blessed by this whole experience, and our children did remarkably well, clearly God’s hand was upon them. I just need you to know that I am disappointed. I believe that my family deserved better. I can live with it, and will. But I just wanted better for my family...I wanted my hubby to be able to come home and rest assured that his hard work paid off.
This experience was sure to be a great tool to witness to our children and community, and it has! Just not in the ways that we thought. We have been able to show our children how to rise above, and that even though we can not control every circumstance, we can control how we handle the circumstance. We were able to show them that we are blessed no matter what, and to appreciate the small things, and how to celebrate the tiniest of accomplishments. For this I truly thank you, for you were part of our journey. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I have no ill feelings towards you. I just wanted to get this off my chest, and let you know, as a business man, the quality and integrity of your craftsmanship is a reflection of your integrity as a person. And I feel that the two didn’t match as well as I had liked, or thought should. Thank you for taking time to read this, and allowing me to have a voice for my family.
Sincerely,
Kim
As I type, my hands are still shaking, and my heart is still pounding from the confrontation (although it was very peaceful and respectful, I hate any sort of conflict even if it leads to a resolution). Mr.Concrete paid me a visit to discuss my letter and concerns. I was very impressed that he came over in such a timely manner...he must have just gotten the letter moments before. He was clearly shaken by what my letter said. He said that he felt as if he "was shot between the eyes". He asked to see the basement and the issues I have with it. He was very calm and professional, hearing me out, and listening to my concerns. He did do his best to disprove or dissolve my concerns. He stated that all concrete foundation walls are wavy, and that what I call honeycombing is just cosmetic, and in no way compromises the integrity of our foundation. He also stated that our foundation is guaranteed against leaks for 10+years, so if there ever is an issue, it will be taken care of. One thing that really bothered me was something he said...he said that reading my letter made him want to quit working at the mission. That really bothers me. It was not my intent, my desire (nor do I feel it has much to do with this) to influence his mission work in a negative way, in fact, it was quite the opposite. I am not sure how I feel about this whole situation. I am not going to jump on the bandwagon that I should not have said anything or sent the letter, I will however give credit where credit is due, and applaud him for coming and dealing with this face to face (as uncomfortable as that makes me). We shall see what conspires from here, I pray that this will be put to rest, and that both parties will be pleased in the end.
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